I'm finally able to blog!
Couldn't remember my password for the pass one week.. (or maybe i've typed wrongly.. haha)

Exams are way way over and i've spent the past 10 days looking for jobs, going for interviews, calling people and studyig for my btt..
Didn't enjoy the past few days very well with seriously nothing to do at home adding that i was ill, still recovering. But definitely feeling better.

I realise i don't really express myself much at home..
Even though i was sick and feeling really terrible, i kept it to myself.. and i wonder if i have been living like that for the past years? i know if he's around, i would tell him but now that he's busy training and training i didnt want him to know and worry for me..
the funny thing is i even told fb.
i just had no one to tell at home... i guess
it's okay those illnes would leave me very soon for good.
i'm strong

luckly i had my scrap book to work with for the past 5 days and that kept me going.
this is also the reason why i'm in front of the lap top now
looking for quotes to put them in my scrap book!
i have a few that i really liked and had learnt alot about..
i think i'm going to put a few here!

1. Find that guy that will pick up every piece
of your shattered heart & put it back together;
Replacing it with a piece of his.

2. Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel.

3. Just Because Someone Doesn't Love You The Way You Want Them To,
Doesn't Mean They Don't Love You With All that They Have

well, i've understand a lot from these quotes esp the last one...

it's my love and i have the final say
i know they're all for my good.. yes yes
but it's the first time only yeah
you'll see in time to come..
so just lay down your judgemental hearts first and be friends first.
we're all learning...

nothing's going to waver me
we'll learn together.

it's not because he doesn't love me
it's not because he doesn't want to take care of me
it's not because he's not a good bf

it's because he doesn't know how to be a good one.

good bf are only good because they learn from their many experiences and failures but what if yours is someone who doesn't have any experiences?
let's learn together then. there's nothing wrong with it.

some people are good at it even for the first time, while some needs a longer time to think ahead and be a good one.

we're all learning to care for each other, it maybe easy on my side because it's in me to care but he needs twice the time and twice the effort to learn to care for me because he hasn't have got any younger siblings and we're both inexperienced in love but who is to say that we cant love if we're inexperineced?

well at least i see the effort that he's making for me and the tremendous change in he's careless personality before we were together.

give us a break yeah. i know what am i doing.

i want a good bf for myself as well, who doesn't?
i know if he's treating me good or not.
i have my own eyes to see if he's making an effort for me and that's enough isn't it?
i know, i'm not dense or infatuated or what.
i know what am i doing.

if you could just put yourself into our shoes
go back to the time when you had your very first girl or guy...
did you know what to do..?

i may be blur or slow or naive or whatever as it seems to you guys, but i know exactly what i want and what is best for myself, so don worry.

so please look into the real details before placing any harsh judgement.

thanks.